sailing the ennui sea

Not sure if it’s the glut of ebooks, audiobooks, gaming or general *circles hand in the air* overload of social media, but I’m experiencing some vague feeling of listlessness. I suppose part of it is moping about after not getting my writing journal site restored. It isn’t that there’s no hope, just that any additional hope requires further action on my part to realize. In a cycle of weariness, I can’t muster the energy to resolve an issue causing me distress. Distress, of course, is energy-draining, so it goes round and round.

Not that things are bad right now. I’m feeling pretty good (which means pain is around a 2 and nothing really spikes except for my back when I sit or lean too long). The weather is starting to warm up. Being out in a sunny day with warm air perks me up. I am a strong supporter of office space with exterior windows, of which mine has none as I’m surrounded by interior walls. We’re walking the dogs regularly in the evening. We’re getting the lawn mower back in condition to cut our jungle of a yard.

Perhaps that’s the problem right there. Now that the weather is warmer and there are no external excuses, my mind keeps throwing more and more To Do items at me. And I’m rebelling by refusing to do as many as possible, but that doesn’t keep the responsibilities from weighing me down. Tonight I’m going to be a Responsible Adult and pick up a new battery for my mower as well as oil and a filter for an oil change. I’ve already paid for them, so hopefully I can just walk in and get them from the front desk. Lately I’ve had an overwhelming urge to head straight home after work, so I’m minimizing my out-of-car time.

I’m sure I’ll get over this soon. It isn’t unusual for me to feel this way. I think it’s the other side of the procrastination/laziness coin. On the one side, you get to do what you want, when you want, no annoying chores included! On the other side, you will feel the weight of your unaddressed responsibilities pressing down on your shoulders, knowing that one day you will collapse under them.

Yep, that’s my cheerful Thursday thought.

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